


Aren't You Such a Catch?

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [9]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-01
Updated: 2003-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discord and Deimos are left off the invite list of a party at Mount Parnassus. With all the major drama that's unfolding with Xena and Hercules, this is the last straw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aren't You Such a Catch?

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the time gap between S5 Ep 19 "Looking Death in the Eye" and S5 Ep 20 "Livia." References [the Judgement of Paris.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgement_of_Paris) The title is a lyric from the song "Get Over It" by OK Go.

There was a party that night and neither Discord nor Deimos were invited.

"If I had known they were going to pull this shit again, I would never have canceled that electrolysis appointment."

"Eww, details, Discord. Details I don't need to know."

Anachronisms. Call it a hobby. Call it fun. Besides, minor deities needed something to do, and Electricity would find his work cut out for him in the years to follow.

"Another wedding, hon? 'Cuz I don't  _do_  weddings."

Deimos snickered as Discord shot him a look. A look read, "Giggle and you die."

Choking on it, he continued, "I didn't get an invitation either."

He shook his fist at whatever heavens lay above the heavens. Maybe Nyx wasn't dead after all. Discord chewed on some ambrosia and in a split second of purely thoughtless fun, slid a foot up her cousin's leg. He smiled, taking her foot and kissing it. They sat on a leopard-printed couch pilfered from Ares' recent garage sale. It seemed uncannily familiar.

"Of course, we could have a party of our own."

Along with the uncannily, irritatingly similar countenance, Discord could almost delude herself into thinking it had  _not_ been thirty years since she'd last lounged on this very couch, lips touching her toes.

As Discord's mental chariot passed down Memory Lane, it was interrupted by Deimos roughly pulling her close to him, practically into his lap.

"Besides, who cares about some dumb party?"

He was so close,  _too_  close, and with her eyes open, it bothered her. His eyes were too intense and his face too red with pent-up energy. And the outfit? It was inexcusable. The worst fashion faux pas, if there ever was one.

Discord tried to squirm away, but he held her fast.

" _I_  do," she said.

She  _did_  care about the dumb parties. No one ever invited her to the dumb parties, partially because she never used to show up at them before they made a point  _not_ to invite her, but mostly because of her ability to cause trouble everywhere she went, and for reveling in it. Family parties Discord attended always ended disastrously due to her presence. But to the very day, she felt insulted being left out of the gatherings, going to lengths to show this, even though all it did was make her less and less popular.

Once not invited to Peleus and Thetis' wedding, she threw an enchanted apple she pilfered from Hephaestus into the festivities, which her mother and sisters, Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite, fought for. They let a mortal guest – Paris, the Prince of Troy – decide who could have it. Each enticed him with something, and in the end the apple went to Aphrodite. It turned out she had promised Paris the most beautiful mortal woman in the world – Helen of Sparta. Needless to say, no one in Sparta found this too agreeable. Conflict broke out. It was Discord's one triumph –starting the Trojan War.

So, though she understood it to be perfectly understandable and reasonable of her family to never invite her to events, Discord held her grudge and wanted to go. Here was Deimos, blatantly offering her sex, which encouraged her to go and crash the party even more, if only to avoid the inevitable for a few hours.

Deimos looked at her then just like Ares and all her other relatives did.

"Why you wanna go hang out with  _those_ boring losers? It's because you know they don't want you there, isn't it?"

He softly ran a finger down her cheek. It burned. God of pain, after all.

"Don't it hurt?"

She flinched and pushed him away.

"What the fuck sort of question is that?"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah, Miss Mouth." He paused, grinning slightly. "It does, doesn't it, Discord? That they don't think you amount to anything. Don't want you around. Ashamed. It hurts, cuts right down to the bone. So much you wanna just fade away."

Discord froze. She stared at him, wide-eyed. How dare he? Was she that transparent?

"Who are you to talk, Terror? You can't scare the hair off a fucking cat."

It was his turn to glare. He opened his mouth to retort but all clever responses flapped out of his brain by way of his ears like bats. Discord grinned then.

"You weren't invited either. Remember that, Deimos. They don't respect either of us. They don't even respect Ares, and he's on the Council. And you're right, they  _are_  boring, but that's why they  _need_  me. There can't be bravery without fear, or pleasure without pain. No peace without war, or harmony without discord. They keep forgetting it, so I need to remind them. I need to keep the status quo or it'll all go fuckin' flat and that's what  _will_  happen. We will all just fade away."

The room felt foggy, almost, following her speech. The air was thick with tension. Deimos didn't much think, and Discord, who found herself sitting and thinking more and more, sat in the sauna of silence, just gazing at each other.

There was talk, they both knew, of their family's reign ending. There was the scare over Xena's child, and now the Fates were muttering that the story wasn't over and the girl was not truly gone. Their current queen, Athena, took the prophecies into consideration, but hid any doubt or fear she had from the rest of the family. At that moment, though, crackling between two loser deities was the sense that time  _was_ short and everyone – them, the family, the planet – needed to wake up.

Deimos broke the rich atmosphere with a boisterous guffaw.

"You…you…" he gasped between laughs at a glaring Discord. "You have  _no_  idea how much I want to fuck you right now."

Discord resisted the surge of a chuckle in her own chest and kept her face a mask of derision.

"I'm going to go crash that party," she said simply, disappearing in a cloud of purple mist.

Deimos remained sitting on the leopard-print couch, catching his breath.

"That bitch is gonna be the death of me."


End file.
